An anonymous
testimony of God's everlasting love for a man, his Testimony to help the Father and the Son, The Lord Jesus Christ.
I accepted Christ into my heart when I was 24 years old, I'm now 63. When I was a teenager I would joke saying, "The Bible should begin with Once upon a time rather than in the beginning." I battled with those 'Once upon a time' feelings until I was 61.
So many times, when I needed God most He seemed to disappear. So many times I prayed feeling like I was just talking into the wind. So many times I felt betrayed, abandoned and exploited. Yes, people were involved but who's supposed to be in charge of everything? God!! If God is stronger than people or Satan then why? I wanted to get to know the God of mercy, peace, grace, compassion, love and forgiveness. It seemed all I was getting to know was the god of confusion, anger, torment and punishment.
That day I accepted Christ I went in like a blind horse knowing I wanted this. My defense to God was, "I was honest and sincere that day I accepted you! No, I didn't know what I was getting into and this sure doesn't match up to what I read and hear about You." This battle went on inside of me and was slowly killing me. I didn't realize it but all those unanswered questions and injustices just jot suppressed inside of me. I sought escape and comfort any way I could.
Then, when I was 61, God showed me beyond any doubt, He is real. That was almost two years ago and I've been taken on a journey reviewing my past but now through God's eyes, not mine or Satan's. That past I used to look at as me trying my best but turning into a pile of failures now became a glorious adventure God had orchestrated for me from the beginning.
I always related myself to doubting Thomas, "Your words sound good but proof is in the pudding." "Here's where the rubber meets the road, I've seen enough crud now where's this peace You promise?" Not too long ago I heard the term "womb to tomb" over the radio and the commentator related that to being superficial. I thought to myself, "Just call me superficial." I'm the type that if you want me to believe in Heaven, that Promise Land that I cannot see, you'd better come up with more than the feeling of just being brainwashed.
In November of 2019 God told me He is real through 3 simple words, "I used you." No voice, just the words. In my mind I started fighting back with all those suppressed angers then the words came again, "I used you." This began the journey God took me through of my past showing me what He did.
Those feelings of betrayal, abandonment and exploitation are now forms of strength training and humbling. It wasn't people hurting me, it was hurting people and God was using them to train and strengthen me. I can now relate to and understand those hurts because I experienced that pain. Christ did indeed let me touch His wounds. He let me put my complete hand and arm in them so I got to experience them too. He let me fellowship with Him.
I was blindfolded but can now look back and see those hints God laid before me, telling me He's there. Hints that I now realize were so real. I was blindfolded and being carried on an eagle's wing.
I'm in a state of bliss. I wanted this my whole life and never imagined it to be this fabulous. The peace and comfort knowing I have a compassionate God as my father...a friend whom I can confide in. He hears my tears.
I accepted Christ in late January of 1982, it was a little before Thanksgiving of 2019 when I heard those three glorious words, "I used you." That period between 1982 and 2019 is just short of 38 years (lame man at Bethesda). It was in May of 2019 I finished a series of 7 (symbol for complete) medical operations over a period of 14 months.
God gave me those 'hints' (miracles) in my past knowing I wouldn't recognize them at the time. Knowing that when He took my blindfold off I can conclude nothing less than He was in control the whole time. God knows every hair on our head and He has a magnificent journey set for us. I don't know what tomorrow holds for me but I know God's in control. The battle within me is over. Anonymous
Thank you from The Holy Bible Ministries for your humbling testimony of His Grace of your life.
Amen my brother in Christ